Jason and his crew never needed an excuse to party, so taking advantage of the hot summers night by having a bonfire piss-up seemed a matter of course. A quick trip through the bottlo drive-thru and raid of supermarket later they were on their way off the beaten track to hole up by a popular creek-side camping grounds. Now Jason, he had the slightest bit of a pyromania streak. By the time they had finished building the pile to his standards, it was so massive they could no longer see around it. It was going to be epic.
Jason gave the wood no choice but to burn – he clumsily sloshed an entire jerry can of petrol around the base; a mate repeating his actions on the opposite side. When someone suggested that this might indeed be overkill he simply replied ‘She’ll be right.’ Proudly overlooking his creation, he called out for his mate to light ‘er up. There was just one small detail Jason neglected. One small but important detail. He forgot to move away. Accelerated by the petrol, the dry wood was instantly engulfed by flames. Sparks spat from the force landing directly on his petrol stained jeans, instantly setting them alight. In blind panic Jason jerked about, trying to wave the flames out of existence. It wasn’t until the fire spread to his shirt that he remembered Stop. Drop. Roll. Thanks firey’s for your efforts to educate! It is thanks to you that Jason Stopped, Dropped, and Rolled his way free of a Darwin Award. But consequently, he spent the next few months consuming vast quantities of vegemite in order to put the hairs back on his chest.