Another installment of Jason and the Darwin Awards. Jason and the Darwin Awards episode list.
The Ute barrelled down the highway. Jason went with the flow of the traffic, accelerator jammed too far down; if you weren’t 20km over the limit, you should just get off the road. Steering with one handed, Jason swigged the last drop of XXXX from can before tossing the empty out to the wayside. “Hey,” he said to the bloke in the passenger seat who was dirtying the dashboard with his boots, “Pass us another tinny, will ya.” In silent reply his mate handed Jason another XXXX from the esky taking up the passenger side foot space. Gripping the wheel and beer can in one hand Jason tried to pull the ring tab. “Shit,” he swore, “Johno, take the wheel for a sec.” John leant over to grip the wheel, now forming a boomerang shape from the dash to steering wheel. Jason quickly open the can, but he was nowhere near quick enough – somewhere between releasing the wheel and John taking control they had drifted into oncoming traffic. Horns blared and the can fell; Jason did not even feel the cold liquid soaking his stubbies. Eyes white with fear Jason scrambled to shoot back into the left lane, turning the speeding vehicle so sharply it nearly ended in a roll, avoiding the impending collision by the narrowest of margins. He live to breed another day.