Forging ahead with fictional endeavours: ~ Write a life on a page and hurry not to its grave; abhor not the coming age, for eternal is the next page. ~ Read what you will, I hope you will enjoy reading as much as I do writing.

Posts tagged ‘12 days of christmas’

For anyone needing a giggle

Gary Stu, the GremlinTonight I happened across what could be a useful writing tool, if used correctly that is… đŸ˜‰ Plot generator relies on key words submitted by the writer to create a working plot from which to work.  Instead I entered random suggestions.  This is what I ended up with:

A Fantasy Novel

In a cave there lived a warped, ruddy gremlin named Gary Stu. Not a giant sizzling, magical cave, filled with potions and a silver smell, nor yet a brunette, sweltering, charming cave with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a gremlin-cave, and that means comfort.

One day, after a troubling visit from the elf Mary Sue, Gary leaves his cave and sets out in search of three squat sausages. A quest undertaken in the company of robots, trolls and pointy teens.

In the search for the elf-guarded sausages, Gary Stu surprises even himself with his resourcefulness and skill as a computer programmer.

During his travels, Gary rescues a ruler, an heirloom belonging to Mary. But when Mary refuses to try laughing, their friendship is over.

However, Mary is wounded at the Battle of Hastings and the two reconcile just before Gary engages in some serious laughing.

Gary accepts one of the three squat sausages and returns home to his cave a very wealthy gremlin.

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12 lumps of coal

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I don’t know what to say… This was supposed to be satirical but instead it’s jaded bah-humbug. But, here we go the 12 days of Christmas: coal version. It’s important to remember that a lot of nasty surprises still occur over Christmas, like any other time of year.

12 lumps of coal.

On the first day of Christmas,
Santa give to me
A list of medical fees.

On the second day of Christmas
Santa gave to me
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

On third day of Christmas,
Santa gave to me
Three fractures,
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

On the fourth day of Christmas
Santa gave to me
Four weeping wives,
Three fractures,
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

On the fifth day of Christmas
Santa gave to me
Five bloody noses,
Four weeping wives,
Three fractures,
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

On the sixth day of Christmas
Santa gave to me
Six people fighting,
Five bloody noses,
Four weeping wives,
Three fractures,
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

On the seventh day of Christmas
Santa gave to me
Seven children a sneaking,
Six people fighting,
Five bloody noses,
Four weeping wives,
Three fractures,
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

On the eighth day of Christmas
Santa gave to me
Eight cars a crashing,
Seven children a sneaking,
Six people fighting,
Five bloody noses,
Four weeping wives,
Three fractures,
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

On the nineth day of Christmas
Santa gave to me
Nine laced drinks,
Eight cars crashing,
Seven children sneaking,
Six people fighting,
Five bloody noses,
Four weeping wives,
Three fractures,
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

On the tenth day of Christmas
Santa gave to me
Ten cracked ribs,
Nine laced drinks,
Eight cars crashing,
Seven children sneaking,
Six people fighting,
Five bloody noses,
Four weeping wives,
Three fractures,
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
Santa gave to me
Twelve lumps of coal,
Eleven missing teeth,
Ten cracked ribs,
Nine laced drinks,
Eight cars crashing,
Seven children sneaking,
Six people fighting,
Five bloody noses,
Four weeping wives,
Three fractures,
Two broken legs,
And a list of medical fees.

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