Tribute to insomnia

Stays up all night

though exhaustion makes

every fiber

phase in and out.

Have to control

and

negate

insomnia to sleep

everynight.

My sleeping pattern is right out of whack; it has been for a while now.  It’s never a good sign. 🙂

In search of new means.

Writing in a vacuum

I write fiction, yet constant procrastination causes contradiction.

It’s become a right addiction but friction causes dereliction.

No definable progress is stressful,

Never knowing if depiction is successful

Blogging cures the constrictive affliction that limits my diction.

Foe.

Procrastination.

Makes three hours out of one.

Progress hampered.

Start again

The writer wrote. Wrote, wrote, wrote some more. Type; edit. A few changes. A few more. The novel got no closer to complete. No matter what was written, the prose seemed incomplete. Her judgement critical; no longer unbiased, bogged down by eternal reconstruction. No progress could be made.

With a kick in the pants, a decision was made. She would start smaller, and see where the results took her.

Blogging 101

Blogging for beginners

Logged enough practice

Of experience I have plenty

Good?

Good enough?

I still can learn

New tips and tricks

Gall to believe I’m better?

1 way to learn

0 – reasons not too.

1 way to find out.

Life between gears.

The jolt that hits you when you pick up the letter containing your next appointment time is unsettling. You try to rationalize it but deep down the sense of foreboding will never completely disappear.  My last MRI was in early January.  I know that the specialists have left my appointment till March – a whole 2 months later, is a very good sign.  I’m only in for a follow up, which is brilliant; all considered.  I may have had a door cut into my skull and sizable portion of unnatural brain matter removed, but for now the only problem is recovery.

I’m no longer sure what ‘recovery’ means for me.  My ‘normal’ ways of living are a thing of the past. I can count on seizures to knock away my control.  Brain damage impacts ‘normal’ functions on a regular basis.  My sense of normal is now completely askew.  Thankfully I’m no longer badly depressed about the loss of my lifestyle.  However, I’m now going to struggle with roadblocks to successful functionality placed in my way by society.

I am currently job hunting for a job that will allow me to phase into work.  I’m unable to work over certain hours for medical reasons. Now I am actually timid about the whole prospect about returning to work to begin with. I have had chronic pain for years but now I have a horde of physical limitation that will affect the kind of work I can do.  In this aspect I will just soldier on like I always have. The clincher comes in during interviews.  Every time I explain my current medical state/enforced sick leave, I can see in the interviewer’s eyes what’s going to happen.  The are going to dismiss my extensive experience and politely tell me that they have either a more suitable candidate or give me bullshit about the job being ill-suited for me in some way.  Now I’m being very careful in choosing the jobs I apply for at the moment – taking into consideration my condition and the job demands, so the idea that I’ve picked an unsuitable job is ludicrous.  I will, literally, apply for anything I think I’m capable of doing.  The example that best exemplifies the challenge I face is my recent experience with Mcdonalds.

I have a culmative 2 years of experience working for Mcdonalds.  I have a Customer Care Diploma from  their ‘university’. I applied for a part-time position at a store 3mins walk away.  I worked at stores far busier than that one. I also have a diverse set of experiences from other areas of hospitality.  Basically, I’m good. And that’s not intended as a boast.  I just have been working responsibly, diligently and without adequate rest since I went independent.  They had me in for 2 interviews (not ever happened with maccers, the last time I was hired on the spot!).  Then I got THE line: I need to speak with the store owner.  I knew exactly what to expect when I got the auto email once I heard that. It was generic template email.  It suggested I either apply at a closer store to where I live (Ha! I knew they were putting in one downstairs) or that I apply for one more suited to my availability or hours (Hmmm when did fully-flexible become restrictive?  And isn’t 16 hours part-time?). I am irritated because this is what I’ll face no matter what job I apply for. But it’s such a ridiculous response that I can’t stop laughing at it to be offended.  Still, at least they bothered to interview me; I know a lot are just skipping over my application.

I really do have better things to with my time then to be hampered by society devaluing my labour value because of a unavoidable medical condition that has given me disabilities. I will attack job hunting from other angles. Meanwhile I write.

Mistrial

I don’t often use prompts from Writing 201, but when I do I go to town with it. 🙂  An (Almost) Double Acrostic featuring as much internal rhyme as I could manage.

‘Murder?’ She wrote. ‘Not Guilty’ she voteD

Innocence is real, feel I

Senseless; victim defencelesS

Truth trapped by deceiT

Ruthless lawyer, truth destroyeR

Unstable, unable; defenceless yoU

Sadly now, despair allowS

Truth to surrender; impaired by a cheaT

Love is… What?

I have been Tagged by Millie Thom to take part in ‘What Love is in four words’.  The aim is straightforward – describe love in four words.  Seems easy enough but, then, you have to ask yourself ‘What is love?’ Thanks to Valentine’s Day, this is somewhat of a hot topic. However, I’m a social constructionist, so I’m very aware of how the emotion has been layered on by societal ideals of the notion of love.  Where does the fanciful notions stop and love begin? A question for the ages…

I have never celebrated Valentine’s Day.  I don’t see the point. Why make a special effort on one day of the year when you should make that effort everyday? As for flowers? You give me roses and I’m likely to  trim the stems, plant them in potatoes, and bury the potatoes in the garden so I can give them a new life as a rose bush.  I’m not that kind of romantic. 🙂

I’m supposed to tag 10 others but it’s past three in the morning and I’m supposed to get sleep at some point; so I say to readers – ‘Tag, you’re it!’ (Please drop  me a line if you do, I’d like to read.)

Love is…

…Passion; raw, turbulent, unhinged.

…not blind; accepting, forgiving.

…fighting to understand.

…yearning to be understood.

…Pure, fragile; easily stained.

…mysterious, capricious and inconclusive.

…twinned with hate.

…north; south is indifference.

…kind yet cruel.

…gentle yet callous.

…the fabric of existence.

Incoherent babbling

I have not had the most productive week.  I wish I could say I’ve been busy. 🙂 If I had been busy I probably wouldn’t be getting frustrated over how little I’ve written.  I have been good, and kept to writing small sections every day but it’s been one of those weeks where nothing I’ve written feels right. I know this happens to us all at some point.  Knowing that it’s normal does not stunt the growing frustration, of course.  But it helps.

My head is full of dust, cobwebs and incoherent, stray emotions.  Mood is a very important factor in writing. One which should not be underestimated.  Stress acts as a preventative to well-rounded judgement and foul moods tend to either cripple or stylise one’s writing.  For me it’s the former.

In my case seizures also so play a part.  I am currently in cringe mode due to a post-seizure headache that has blasted all thoughts of writing out of me for the time being.  Totally should give up before I go into emo mode. 😀

Bugger this, I’m off to vegetate! Sayonara!

Halal Meat in Australia – What’s the big deal?

This one hits the mark and I’m honestly fed up with anti-Islamic propaganda I am subjected to on face book. That hide button is getting worn out.

The UnsimpleLife

There has been a lot of talk in Australia for a while now about Halal Certified meat. I for one have paid little to no attention to it. I was at the pub last Sunday afternoon and some hick was in there wearing a blatantly racist shirt, something something, Muslim, Halal… So, i decided that i would take a look into the ‘issue’ of Halal Certification in Australia.

To be honest, i didn’t really know what Halal was/is. So i decided to start with a definition. What makes meat Halal meat?

Halal
Every religion has its own characteristics and rules. Many faiths also have their own dietary or consumables restrictions. The word Halal is derived from the Arabic language and means ‘acceptable’ or ‘permissible’, relating to the source of the produce or ingredients, the cleanliness of premises, preparation methods and the final product. Conversely, non-Halal (Haram) means non-permissible or…

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